you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
