I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
