She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
