My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
