Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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