Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
