he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Panties = found
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
