A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
