I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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