Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
