Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
