her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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