you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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