you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
