Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
