so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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