i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
