I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
time to smoke my breakfast
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
