would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
