No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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