Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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