Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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