so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
