I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
