Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
