She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
