I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
