I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
