Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
