at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
