I want to make a zoo with you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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