Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
