You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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