Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
