his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
how drunk are you?
Several
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
