I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
