i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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