can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
