it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
