That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
