we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
