did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
