we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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