im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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