so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
