i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
