His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
