puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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