I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
