Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
