This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
